Trying to Please Our Parents Forever?

Living for Ourselves by Madisyn Taylor We may not realize until we are adults that we are living our life to make our parents happy. Most of us come to a point in our lives when we question why we are doing what we are doing, and many of us come to realize that we may be living our lives in an effort to make our parents happy. This realization can dawn when we are in our 20s, our 40s, or even later, depending upon how tight a hold our family of origin has on our psyche. We may feel shocked or depressed by this information, but we can trust that it is coming to us at this time because we are ready to find out what it would mean to live our lives for ourselves, following the call of our own soul, and refusing any longer to be beholden to someone else’s expectations. One of the most common reasons we are so tied into making our parents, or others, happy, is that we were not properly mirrored when we were children. We were not honored as individuals in our own right, with a will and purpose of our own, to be determined by our own unfolding. As a result, we learned to look outside of ourselves for approval, support, and direction rather than look within. The good news is that the part of us that was not adequately nurtured is still there, inside us, like a seed that has not yet received the sunlight and moisture it needs to open and to allow its inner contents to unfurl. It is never too late to provide ourselves with what we need to awaken this inner being. There are many ways to create a safe container for ourselves so that we can turn within and shine the light of awareness there. We may join a support group, go to therapy, or start a practice of journaling every day for half an hour. This experience of becoming is well worth the difficult work that may be required of us to get there. In whatever process we choose, we may feel worse before we feel better, but we will ultimately find out how to live our lives for ourselves and how to make ourselves happy.

The Five Love Languages

• Quality time: For a person who speaks this language, things like eye contact, deep and meaningful conversations and shared activities are needed to feel loved. Bonding time with their partner is what is most important to them. • Receiving gifts: When you are with a partner who love little gifts and surprises, this is precisely what you will get. You will constantly be showered with new clothes, flowers or even chocolates. This is how they want to be loved, so this is exactly what they do for their partners. Giving the gift of self is also an important symbol of love to these people. • Words of affection: This works by giving your partner constant compliments, sweet love notes and lots of encouragement. This is important because those who speak this language are sensitive people and don’t take criticism as well as others. They may illustrate their frustrations by using sharp words or even by harassing you. • Physical touch: If this is the language of your partner they will be very affectionate or, as some like to call it, touchy-feely. Sex to them means much more than just an orgasm - it is a way to connect. If you deny someone who speaks this love language sex, they may feel unloved. • Acts of service: Some people find pleasure in doing things for others. This may mean that they will feel loved when their partners help out with chores or doing things for them. However, acts of service should be done out of love, not obligation.

Vyvanse vs Adderall XR – Benefits, Problems

Vyvanse is a new treatment for ADHD and this article compares it to Adderall. If you want to learn the 10 most important things you should know about Vyvanse, see here. Are you confused by all your medication options? (Ritalin, Adderall, Focalin, Vyvanse, Intuniv, Metadate, Pemoline – and that’s just getting started!) Figure things out – a Full List of ADHD Medications tells you what you need to know. Now… First, it’s important to realize that Vyvanse is Shire’s replacement for their old blockbuster drug, Adderall XR, which is losing its patent. If you’re being suggested to take Vyvanse, it’s not necessarily because it’s a better medication. Shire wants to turn it into a billion dollar drug, and has unleashed a marketing campaign of that magnitude, aimed at consumers and doctors. On the other hand, Vyvanse does have some advantages over Adderall. It also has a few disadvantages. Comparing Vyvanse vs Adderall is made slightly harder because both drugs are amphetamines. If you take either, you’re getting pretty much the same thing. That said, there are some important differences. 1) Vyvanse is 100% d-amphetamine, while Adderall XR is a mix of 4 different d and l-amphetamines. This mix in Adderall may make it more effective, stronger. But it might cause more anxiety or physical side effects. See later for discussion of the differences between the amphetamine types. The next big difference is that: 2) Vyvanse is released via digestion, while Adderall is released by bead technology. The digestion release may make Vyvanse smoother, last longer, and have less variability. What you eat might not effect it so much, while Adderall XR may be more effected by, say, having a cup of orange juice. This release also means that snorting or injecting Vyvanse provides less of a high. As many have pointed out, however, Vyvanse can provide a high just by being taken at higher doses. Advantages of Vyvanse We have a full article discussing the Advantages of Vyvanse. Vyvanse has been shown to have effect for a very long time, up to 14 hours in some studies. While realistically that duration of effect may not happen, it works fairly well for fairly long. This is likely because its release mechanism is typically smooth, meaning less variability. Finally, Vyvanse is pure d-amphetamine, which may mean less of certain side effects compared to the l and d-amphetamine of Adderall. Disadvantages of Vyvanse Vyvanse is basically nothing more than extended release Dexedrine. And while it seems to have fewer side effects relating to anxiety and release, it may cause more side effects like reduced appetite. Because Vyvanse is so new, it may be significantly more expensive than other options or not covered by insurance, especially since both Dexedrine and Adderall are available in generic form. We also simply do not know as much about it as we do about the older drugs. Finally, some users feel that it’s not as strong as Adderall, and that it stops working earlier than advertised. l versus d amphetamine Remember that Vyvanse is pure d-amphetamine, while Adderall is a mix of d- and l-forms. The d form may be more effective at reducing impulsiveness and overactivity. The l form, on the other hand, may increase concentration better, but it may also cause more anxiety. It is also per molecule less effective than the d form, but such a distinction is perhaps irrelevant. The d form may effect more dopamine, as opposed to both noradrenaline and dopamine in the l form. This theory, however, is not established. Noradrenaline is involved in anxiety responses, which may explain why Adderall XR seems to be worse for anxiety. Adult ADHD: ADHD is a lot different in adults than in children. Hyperactivity, for instance, is not necessarily there or in the same form as in kids. If you are over 18 and worried that you might have ADHD, check out an ADHD Test Made for Adults. Link: Whole Article